Silent night? If only: Worst new Christmas pop: Aidin Vaziri | Who’s ruining Christmas now? From New Kids on the Block’s clearly mislabeled “Funky Funky Christmas” to the White Stripes’ homicidal blues stomp “Candy Cane Children,” there is a long tradition of pop stars who think the most wonderful time of the year is also the perfect to release the most awful music known to man, mother, child and magi. We rank this season’s main offenders.
1. Coldplay, “Christmas Lights”
Bland, plodding, overwrought – this song represents everything people who hate Coldplay think Coldplay actually sounds like. As pianos tinkle and expensive strings swoon, Chris Martin warbles in autopilot, “Christmas night/ Another fight.” Let’s just hope it’s a rejected demo from the next album.